Hardly Working...

Here I am at working blogging! oh boy would I be in BIGGGG trouble if I got caught! lol but heyt, everyone's gotta live on the edge SOMETIMES, right? Dan comes home in THREE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! omg! i CANNOT WAIT to see him in person!!! he's all self concious because he gained some weight, but ive seen pictures of him, and he hasnt gained all THAT much!!! besides even if he gained 100lbs, i wouldnt care!!! all i want is him back in my arms, where he belongs!!! :) oh well enough edge living for one day! lol hope my followers are doing well!

awards...

and thans to the girls for my blog awards! i still ahvent figured out how to post them on here though... can anyone help?!

Woah...

So, it's definitely been a while since i posted... i wonder if i even have any followers left! welcome to my newby though... even though im sure its a little late! well, Work has really been going well... i just finished my third week already! i thankfully have this weekend off, and have much to do seeing as Dan comes home in SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! yep, you read that right: one week from right now, he'll be home here with me prolly chillin on the couch drinkin a nice cold beer! :) I CANT WAIT!!!!!! so next week is my late week, which means that i have to work until 430 instead of 3, and have to rush right over to get Ev from daycare, so there wont be muc hthat i can get done after work in between dinner, after dinner clean up, bath, and then getting evan ready for bed! by then im so beat, i usually hit the hay myself! lol work is going well though... As soon as Evan was adjusted, he started getting his molars, and was hhorribly grouchy, and all he wanted was his mother! lol so it made for a really ruff week and a half! he would scream and cry when i would leave... it was terrible!!! talk about feeling wicked guilty! anyway, so working is taking alot out of me, and ive really been slacking in the housework department! the house legit looks like a hurricane blew through it!! so this weekend, i really have to deep clean this pit, and keep it that way in the upcoming week, because Dan decided to invite like his entire family over for a cookout on saturday! AHHHHH!!!! lol not to mention that i have to work all day friday (my alarm will sound at 430am, ill have to drop ev off at daycare NO LATER than 630, be at work for 7... work til 430 then rush to get balloons for my love, go to the bank to get payment for daycare lady... pick up dan at the airport!!!!!!!!!!!!, then finally after that pick up evan so Dan can meet the daycare lady! and go home to start our "dinner routine" with our Airman! :) then get to bed at a decient hour so i can be BACK at work for 7am the next morning (for those of you that have been following my blog, i mentioned a few posts back that i would have to work the day after and how i was bummed about it: the other girl who does my job cant cover because its her sons 4th b-day party, and my step mom... i work for my father, cant cover BECAUSE MY FATHER WONT LET HER!!!!!! he's forcing me to work the day after my fiance comes home after being away since oct of last year because he *excuse my language* is a prick!!!) and work until 2... to THEN go back home, and prepare for a cookout (that might even already be in progress when i get there!) awesome. i'm aready looking forward to relaxing next sunday! lol I def wont get to very much until then! anyway off to bed at 930 on a friday night!

It's Been a While...

WOW! it new job of mine takes up an incredible amount of my time! I barely have time for any thing anymore!My airman comes home in 19 short days! I can't wait to have him back here with us!

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to all! I never really paid much attention to what this holiday was all about until now. Now, it really hits home. Seeing all of the videos realy makes me dread deployment. TOday marks 25 days until Dan comes ome from tech school! I cant wai to have him home! these two days off have really been a blessing! I was SO exausted from working... I'm totally NOT used to it! Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the holiday... remember to thank a service member today!

Four Weeks

So today marks 4wks until Dan comes home! I cant wait to see him! :) I found out today, that I prolly have to work the day he gets home... and the day after too... I'm going to try t talk to the other girl in the office and see if we can switch so I dont have to work... another option is Dan picking a later flight, so he gets home after I get out... I REALLY want to greet him at the airport... I DONT want him to come home to an EMPTY HOUSE after being gone for 9months... talk about making someone feel like no-one cares!!! :( oh well, we'll figure it out...

I'm SO tired from getting up early, and working 9 1/2hr days!!!! today was my little cousin's bday, so we went there after work today, and Ev fell asleep on the way home from their house... i thought he was going to stay asleep, but urns out he's not going to... gotta give him a bath, then back to bed he goes! then off to bed for me as well!

First Day

Today was my first day back to work. It was also the first day Evan went to Daycare... Dropping Evan off at daycare, and LEAVING HIM THERE was one of the hardest things I've EVER had to do in my life!! I couldnt breathe, I felt like I was going to throw up, and I balled my eyes out ALL THE WAY to work!!! Dan is so awesome though... I called him at 830 crying and crying my eyes out, and even though it was early, and everything, he was so patient and talked me through it and made me feel better!

Work went well... It was SO busy this morning, that it pretty much took my mind off of Evan being at daycare... I held off until noon then called the lady, and she said that Evan was FINE! He didt cry one single bit ALL DAY! Not even when I left! He went right down for his nap with no issues either, and had a blast with all the rest of the kids! He even ate his bfast, lunch and snacks like a big boy!!!!

what an exausting day though! its been a LOOONG time since ive been to work! ...Gotta go get my lunch ready for tomorrow, and hit the hay! Gotta be thee for 7 tomorrow so that means I have to get up at like 530-6... BLAH

Dear Love,

I miss you and I want you here. Nights like tonight when I can barely breathe over something horrible going on, I just wish you could hold me.

I'm so done with you being gone! Enough is enough already! Come home to Evan and I. Come be a family with us, eat meals with us, come to the park with us, and visit your family with us! I am so proud of all you do, and everything you're becoming, I just wish we could be together while you're accomplishing all of this!

Its weighing heavy on me that I won't be at your graduation. I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but its huge to me! You mean everything to me, and your accomplishments are mine!

I'm so sick of living without you. I know this is the part I signed up for, and I will wait for you until the end of time, you never have to worry about that! Its the hard times that define us, and you know I've been going through a jungle of them lately... And just I wish you were here to battle them with me.

I love you more than words could ever express. I cannot wait to become your wife, I cannot wait to grow old with you, and watch all of our future little grandbabies grow and play.

Your's always, Ang

Missing My Airman...

So, this morning, I've been going around and checking out all the blogs I follow, and have even started following some more... reading people's posts about homecomings and such has REALLY made me miss my Airman! its a little over 4wks until he comes home, and I'm getting SO antsy!!! I know he's only coming home from tech school, but He Left for BMT on October 13th 2009... and we've only seen eachother for just a selected few times since then... I also know it would (and will) be much harder when he eventually deploys, but I just want him HOME!!!! he's been gone for SO LONG, and I'm SO READY for us to start our new life together as an Air Force family! Me going back to work isnt exactly what I had pictured (and its really gonna stink when he does actually come home, and he's on leave, and I'll have to get up and go to work every day instead of spending that precious time with him... :/), but everything happens for a reason... even if we dont know what it is just yet... it's just gonna be great to have him home, I just wish the time will hurry up and go by already!!! lol oh yeah, and for it to FINALLY be August 21st so I can MARRY the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!
(we were talking this past weekend, and its VERY important to Dan that we get married in a church, and we're not sure how the Father will feel if we get married before our wedding... we're going to talk to him about it when he returns before we go ahead and get married when he gets back... I'm a little disappointed... it would have been our little secret... but I was still looking forward to it...)

Sitter

So I met the lady from the daycare today... She is SO awesome!!! and Evan had THE BEST time over there too!!! I wish I could shake the feeling of abandonment that I have though... I guess that will come with time!

I watched the season finales of the Monday night CBS shows! they were awesome! Cant wait to see The Good Wife's tomorrow!! I LOVE that show!! :)

I miss my Airman tonight... He goes to his Briefing tomorrow that all the Airman go to 30days before they graduate!!! Soooooooo you all know what that means RIGHT?!?!??!!??! HE'LL BE HOME IN 30DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3>I can't WAIT to have my Airman home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hopefully, my first day back at work on Wednesday will go well... :) Gnite all...

Job.

So ladies, I have news... I'm not sure if its good news or bad news at this point... BUT I have a JOB...! I wasnt looking for one, but my dad callled me on friday, and offered me my old job back... I dont know what i think about this just yet... I found a really amazing day care to place Evan while I work, and lined up a sitter for Saturdays too until Dan gets home in less than 5wks! it all happened SO soon... I start Wednesday! I'm SO SCARED!!! I'm going to try and meet with the daycare lady tomorrow.. and have a few things that I need to get done before Wednesday, so I'm going to have a really VERY busy next few days until I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to start working... Gosh, it feels like the first day of school!!!

Fun Day!

hey everyone! glad to see my follower list is growing!!! Welcome K! :)

today was a nice and relaxing day! my fitire SIL and i went shopping at kohls with evan, and had THE BEST time!!! :) we were supposed to go flower girl dress shopping after (just brousing until my OTHER SIL can find the time in her "busy" none working schedule to get together with me...) but we never made it! we spent WAAAAY too long at kohls!!! i got $92 worth of stuff for $48, but had a $25 girf card, so I paid $23!!! WooHoo!!!!!! awesome savings!!!! :) I love that store!!! :) and the retail therapy really helped a lot too! dont feel nearly as frustrated as i had before!!! i feel very upbeat and relaxed after the last long drawn out week!!!

my father offered me my old job back... i really want to take it, but at the same time, i really want to continue to stay home with my little man! :/ im gonna miss him while im working all day :( oh well, i found a really nice lady to watch him for a really reasonable price!!! anyway, gotta put my love to bed (yes he's up very late... he had an extra long nap earlier...) and relax for a few before i go to bed myself! until next time...

FLOWERS!!!!!!!

Hello all! hope everyone is doing well today! Ive been upset for the past couple of days... i got a horrible email from a friend of mine.... or i guess i should say a former friend... let me give you a little background on the whole subject: ok i graduated in 02. Becky and I were friends all through high school. after graduation, we just stopped hanging out... i dont remember if there was a reason why... i just dont remember hanging out with her after that... i maybe ran into her 2-3 times in the years to follow, and then back in 08 we found out that we were both pregnant, and due in the spring of 09. we started talking a little more again, and hung out a few times... after our sons were born, we hung out a couple more times, but she frequiently made plans with me and then blew them off... she was only avail when she wanted to be, never when i asked her, or needed a friend, even though i was always there for her when she needed someone to talk to... then, back in the fall, she moved out to WI like two weeks after Dan left for BMT... she would call me and send me fb emails venting about her boyfriends family and how much they sucked, and when she needed to complain about her boyfriend and what a big fat jerk he was... she would even text me for advice when her son had problems eating/sleeping/pooping/etc. BUT when i needed to vent, or needed a friend, because Dan has been gone since freaking OCTOBER she's was always too busy! she was never avail when i needed her! so back a few months ago, a friends of ours that we "met" through FB while we both were pregnant (she was pregnant too, we were all members of a group on there we never actually met here face to face, but i had gotten REALLY CLOSE with her through text messages and FB), texted me and told me that she was pregnant again! i was so excited for her! then she told me later that i was the first person she told, even before her mother! you see this girl reminds me alot of my sister erica, and I think that she feels sort of the same way about me... like im a sister than she never had... so, when Dan proposed to me on easter, i took a picture of the ring and sent it to her that night! she was the first person i thought of! i only told one other person about it, and that was my sister erica. when we came home, we waited about a week before we told our families, and dan changed his relationship status... well a hs fb friend commented on dan's status change, and Becky saw it... now, Evan and I were in Texas for 1o days. it took me about a week of prep before we left, and about a week or two after we got back to get back into the swing of being home... i hadnt talked to becky at all during that time... in fact we hadnt talked much at all, even before that time, unless she has a question on how to get her son to not be so constipated... so one day i get a text from her saying that she saw that we were engaged and wanted to know why i didnt tell her... i genually thought that she wasnt being serious about it... so i kinda laughed it off and said it was because we wanted to tell our fam first... that was the end of that.... we went on talking occationally, if that for the past month... then last night i get this email from her telling me how upset she was, and how she talked to all these people that know both of us, and they all agree that it is really messed up that i didnt tell her like right away when i got engaged (even though i told our other friend), that she found out on fb (like all the rest of our friends!!!!!)... so heres the other thing that really upset her: she didnt get an invite to our wedding. anyone who has had a wedding knows that you make a list of guests... then you split that to an A list and a B list... THEN once people start RSVPing that they cant come, you send out a second wave of invites to people on the B list. well, Dan and I were no exception to this! our list was much too long, so we had to do just that... Becky ended up on the B list... heres another thing though, i wasnt the only person making this list, DAN was also contributing! he put one of his very best friends on the A list... this girl was, to say the least, a bitch in HS... she was really stuck up, and would not associate with anyone that wasnt her friend... Becky doesnt like her. I explained to Becky MONTHS ago, that this girl has grown up significantly since high school, and she's not like that anymore... she's acutally a really cool chick, and really fun to hang out with... needless to say, she got her invite, and fb'd me telling me how excited she was to be coming to our wedding... Becky on the other had, did not... I have to say that i just really wasnt expecting all of this! and i really dont know what to do... I want to write back to her, but i dont really know what to say, expecially since she closed the message with "theres no need for excuses or apologies, whats done is done.. " and I really dont feel comfortable sending her an invite after all of this... what a frustrating situation... if i didnt have enough going on right now...!

anywho, i didnt really expect tht rant to be so long... although, i do feel muh better not that i got it off my chest... moving on!!! I went with my mom today, and picked out my wedding flowers!!!!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):) it was so much fun!!! i was having the worst day between yesterdays email from becky that i got right before bed, and then my mother being a total bitch, and Dan being a serious grouch... I needed somehting wonderful like this to uplif my spirits!!! and it did just that!! and also, the lady was SO positive!!! it was so nice to talk to someone who didnt criticise my every move for this wedding! my mother has been rude and has complained about every single thing including the fact that we have to be at the hair salon to get our hair done at 6am on our wedding day! she has complained about this over and over to every and anyone who will listen!! among other things, like i had mentioned the other day, about the stupid roses... and the lady just said that it was SO MUCH FUN, and that it was going to be such a blast! it was such a breath of fresh air! :) and she told my mother that i wasnt the first bride who didnt want roses!!! What a GREAT TIME it was!!! :):):) it was so much fun!!! im just hoping now, that dan's mother will come through with the funds that she said that she would pay for the flowers...

I have to say, that i feel as though i am very negative lately on here... i really think im getting depressed over here... i have so much stress with the wedding, dan being gone, baby daddy, etc... i really just need a break. trouble is, i dont have an outlet... it really stinks sometimes... :/

GRRRRR!!!!!

UGH!!! i just got into the biggest fight with my mother over the flowers that are going to be at the tables at MY wedding!!!!! the reception hall includes red roses with its packages on all of the tables... but i HATE ROSES!!!! i dont want them in my bouquet, and i dotn want them in the rest of the flowers either!!! i want all of the flowers to match my bouquets on the tables! Im just getting SO FRUSTRATED!!! Ive had to back down on every single aspect of my wedding so far! i couldnt pick where it was held, who i could invite, the photographer, i even had to run the menu by my father for his approval!!! Im NOT backing down on this!! im only getting married once, and i dont want roses!! i dont know why this is what i chose to stand up for, but im NOT backing down!!!!! so i was telling my mother who said she would come with me to help me pick out flowers tomorrow that dan's mother backed out today after the flower shop closed today, saying that she has to work late... so my mother responds with, well why do i have to be there? "im not paying for the flowers"!!! WHAT?! wtf??? i got sooooo mad!!! maybe becuase she;s my MOTHER!!! and she should want to come help me pick out the flowers that are in her daughters wedding bouquets!!!! ugh!!! i told her she didnt have to go, that i would do it by myself, just like everything else that ive been doing for this wedding! so then she gets pissed, and says that she'll go, and hangs up on me!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! ugh, im so aggravated about this right now!!!

anywho... I did go and finalize the menu (father approved) with the guy who owns the hall... and found a dj!

although, i was really excited to go dress shopping for my flower girls tonight, but my si ter in law cancelled! bummer... oh well...

welcome to my latest follower! glad to have you here :)

ps, ev still have a fever... turns out its due to a sore throat! my poor little man :/

Productive Day

So today was a very productive day! how awesome is that?! I got so much accomplished today!!! it feels great, things that were really weighing on me have been accomplished, so thats great! I made an appointment with the florist, with the reception hall guy, booked a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner (yeah, i know... thats not supposed to be MY job... lol), with Davids bridal for flower girl dresses... and more that i think of right now!!! what a great day!

too bad my little man is sick :( he's been under the weather for the past two days... tomorrow, i might bring him to the dr's to see whats wrong. i just hate it when he's sick :/

my cousin jeffrey stopped by tto say hi, right in the middle of me making fried chicken for lunch! ugh, what a fat girl!!! oh, but it was SOOOOOOO good!! altho, ive been craving bacon ALL DAY!!

I also talked to Dan's gram today, she said that the invites looked awesome! (im not sure if i mentioned this on here, but my mom told me that her invite was smudged, and i got a little upset after all the hard work i had put into them!!)... she said that if she hadnt known that i did them myself, she would have never known, they looked SO GOOD!!! how awesome is that??!?! that made me feel great, totally worth all the work i put into them!! Dan's supposed to check his mail tomorrow and get his, i cant wait for him to see them! i addressed it exactly how i did all the others, AND included a reply card w/envelope and directions and all! i wanted him to get the FULL EFFECT when he opened it! hearing everyone got their invites really makes it official now! im so excited! of course my father has to rain on my parade though... he has to cause trouble. We cut the age off at 18 and didnt invite guests to come with single people... and of course, my father wants my nephew to come! its going to cause SO MUCH trouble if he comes, and no one else can bring their kids!! ugh! whatever, im not even going to think about it anymore tonight.

anyway though... dan has a long weekend (possibly 4days!) this weekend, because of the holiday... i really hope he has fun, but at the same time,it really makes me miss him SO MUCH MORE knowing he has all these days off in a row, and we cant take advantage of thiem and be together... :/ I had gone there at the end of march for 10days, and now im kind of regretting it, wishing we hadnt stayed so long, so that we would have the cash to go back again for this weekend... even though we intentionally went for the 10days so Dan wouldnt miss Ev's first birthday, and we could spend easter together. He was kinda bummed this past weekend, because i had to pay bills... and he wanted to put aside some extra money to go to ok city to see his wing man from BMT... at first i felt bad, because i know how much they miss eachother, and that they may not be this close to eachother again for who know how long, and i even tried to figure out a way for him to go, and gave him quite a few suggestions... and he kept saying that it was ok... even though i could tell that it "wasnt"... but then i started thinking... and i know ive posted quite a bit about how we've been fighting alot lately about how much he's been spending going out to the bar on the weekends (im not sure if i mentioned this this past weekend, but he went out AGAIN both days this past weekend!!!! when he said he wasnt going to... this time he didnt lie about it, but i still got pretty upset that he went when he said he wasnt going to... its really getting on my nerves... all i want from him is to do what he says he going to do.)... when you want to do something extra, you save up for it, you dont just go on blowing money like its going out of style, and then spend even more on a special trip! he dug this hole himself by blowing all the money he did in the past month and a half! he knew he wanted to go for a while now!!! he should have planned accordingly!

im going to leave this on a light note: my son is just about hte cutiest baby on the planet! we were watching the yanks vs sox game tonight, and i was sending updates to dan during the night, and evan looked right at the screen and there was a close up of wone of the players, and evan started waving at him and pointing!!!! it was SOOOO CUTE!!! i wish i could have gotten it on video!!! Im hoping he starts to feel better tomorrow! i ahve so much planned for this week, and i dont want to have to cancel anything, but will in a heartbeat for my little love <3 take care to my 3 followers and anyone else who reads my blog! goodnight ;)

ps. i was trying to get on the milspouse website tonight... i was going to post a topic inviting people to follow my blog, but i couldnt get on!!! i dont know if anyone else is having problems getting on the site, but i ALWAYS DO!!! oh well...

Another Monday...

Hello everyone... We're back to Monday again! Lol My little man doesn't seem to be himself the past two days... I gave him some tylenol, and his fever went down, so I think I'm gonna give it one more day before I take him in to the dr... Yesterday was pretty uneventful... I went over to my moms for pasta, and to target. I saw my gram, and two of my aunts... Like I said BOOORING!!! Lol one thing that stunk was that Dan's roomate slept like ALLLLL day, so I didn't get to talk to Dan until like 7pm... :/ we texted all day, but its not the same... I told him later that it kinda stunk... I appreciated that he texted me, but I would rather talk to him. I was even more bummed because when I DID call him, he said he was watching a show, and would call me back when it was over (he was watching it on the internet...) After I hadn't talked to him all day... Then wanted to text some more... I just ignored it until he called back. Ugh, I just can't wait for him to be home!!! We're so close to the end now! Oh well, ill Probably write again later after the day has gone by... I have a lot to accomplish today! Wish me luck with that and my sick little baby! :)

Shad Derby Day

Hey everyone! today was the annual Shad Derby! What a fun day! Would have been better if my airman was here with me, but overall a pretty good day. :) My Love was a little bummed though, because he couldnt be here for it, but he'll be here soon enough! I cant wait for him to be home though. 5wks 6days!!! God, I miss him SO MUCH!

So today, at the derby, I had a piece of fried dough, and a "real" lemonade... and a beer... then much later, i had a stoffers french bread pizza... thats it all day, but talk about a bunch of junk! lol I'm alittle nervous to weigh myself tomorrow for my weekly weigh in for weight watchers... this must be what it feels like to be on the biggest loser... but obviously intensified on the show! lol

so my house is a serious mess! Ive been focusing so much on wedding stuf lately, that i have totally neglected our home!! its pretty gross! i gotta get back up to speed with cleaning!

oh gosh! i miss my airman so much today, and he's been SO DOWN lately too... he's really ready to come home, and everyone is starting to get on everyone elses nerves... he wants to be home with us, plus he coaches a baseball team, and thats starting pretty soon, and he's missing out on that and playing on his softball team... i know that everyone there is missing out on things too, but it just makes my heart ache for him to be so home sick. :/ i miss him and long for him every day that he is gone... but when he's like this, its 100x worse!!! anywho, im hittin the hay, im tired, i have sunburn, and i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. until then guys...

Lazy Day...

Today was a lazy boring day that just flew right on by!!! Ev and I woke up at around 10, and next thing I knew he was going down for his nap... Before I got the chance to get to the post office... I was a little worried about that because I wasn't sure he would wake back up in time to get there before it closed.. And tomorrow the post office isn't open here tomorrow, because of the annual shad derby... But thankfully he got up in time to make it there! I was so excited to hand the invites off to the post master! Its totally official now, no turning back! :D I'm so excited to start getting the reply cards back!!! I got to skype with dan again today! Which was awesome, and actually, it was just the two of us, which is actually really rare, usually its the three of us, or not at all... But I'm glad we got to the past two days, because now my computer's down (bcus its the biggest piece of crap EVER! Lol) I'm actually posting this from my blackberry!

I also put my wedding dress on today! I couldn't help it... I had to get it back on! I couldn't zip it all the way myself though, so I really didn't get the full effect, but it was still nice to have it on!!! I can't wait to wear it!!! I have an account on theknow.com, and it shows a count down of how many days are left until our wedding, and as of today, there's only 99 more days!!! How exciting!!!! God! I can't wait to marry him!!!! He's home in 6wks, and then it'll be no time after that!! I can't wait for him to be home, this absence has most definitely made my heart grow fonder of him! Oh well, I'm still on the fence about going to the derby tomorrow, I know it'll be fun, but I'm just not in the mood... Oh well that's it for tonight... Like I said, it was a pretty dull day, very uneventful, to say the least! Lol goodnight world <3
t

Feeling VERY Accomplished!

So as you can see from my earlier post, today didnt start out the way i would have liked it to... lol, but thankfully it ended up turing around!!!

Dan and I did end up skyping which was really nice, plus he actually watched us, instead of looking at other sites... maybe we just needed a break, so he could really miss us or something, idk, but whatever it was, it worked! :) then I went tanning, which ALWAYS makes me feel better! plus I alwasy fall asleep in the tanning bed, so i get to sneak a little nap in my day where i wouldnt normally get one! another big plus for the day!!!

THEN i went over to my moms and FINISHED MY WEDDING INVITATIONS!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!! tomorrow theyre going out in the mail!!! good riddance to them too!!! what a pain in the butt they were!!! so glad to be done with them!!!

Dan has been taking his phone to school with him lately, I expressed my concern about it today, because as much as i love being able to text him during the evening, I'm worried he'll get in trouble with for it with only 6 more wks to go!!! he told me not to worry, that it is his concern not mine... but i still find myself worrying about it... anywho... he seems to be in better spirits than he has been... says that he gets frustrated with all the high school BS that has been going on lately in his class... I think he's just eady to come home... I vented to him earlier about my dad, and how he really made me feel bad yesterday about everything... i apologized afterword, and told him i just needed to get it out.. he said it was ok... and we went on with our day... theres something about me telling him whats bothering me that makes me feel so much better! <3 so then at class, he told me that he might go see a movie this weekend, or go tothe lake with a couple of guys from his class (itsone of their birthdays) at first i felt a littlw bad about it... kinda likei was being left out... but i took a set back before i responded ot his text and thought about it for a minute... we had that huge fight last weekend about him going out drinking, and spending too much money, and all of that... and now he'strying to find other things to do with his time!!! so instead of getting upset, I told him that it would be a nice break for him from the dorms and that i hope he gets to go and relax! I'm glad i did. i would have felt like a jerk for starting an argument over something so rediculous. i think i have to do that from now on... just take a step back and think about what i say before i say it. ive been so uptight lately because if everything that's been going on, and ive been unintentionally taking in out on My Love, and that's not fair to him. he doesnt deserve that at all.

oh well, im waiting for the unitiy candle and garter that i bought last week to get here in the mail! hopefully it'll arrive tomorrow! im very excited about getting them and seeing them in person!!! I just cant wait for my airman to get home in 6wks! i cant wait to sleep in his arms again.

hey do any of you read my posts?! im just curious... i know that i still only have the three followers...

Gettin On, Gettin On...

Wow! I didnt realize that I havent posted in 2 days! I guess I've just been really exausted... Let me bring you up to speed with the past couple days:

so I told you how monday was a pretty hard day for me... I was kind of hoping that Tuesday would be better... I woke up, and started my day... Dan had stayed up late, and took some bayer for his back ache that he hurt durning PT, and stayed up until like 4 something in the morning his time, therefore he wanted to sleep all day, and when it was time to talk to me it was either one word or rude answers... I got pretty upset with him, because its getting pretty old... Its not fair that he takes his frustration out on me... so I told him that I look forward to talk to him in the morning, and that i dont appreciate he way hes been acting. then he was supposed to get up and skype with us, but ended up going back to sleep, and then had to get stuff done, so we were pushed off, and didnt get the chance because i had tanning... he got all bummed because we had to go, and couldnt skype... I told him a couple weeks ago that i get frustrated, because he wants me to call him to wake him up in the morning, but then he "snoozes" me like 2-3 times having me call him back in an hour, half hour, or 45min... next thing i know, half the day has gone by, and the things i have to do outside our home, i could have gotten done, but instead i waited around all day for him to get up and around, just to then be pushed of for him to do his duties there because he slept all damn day... he tells me all the time that he wants me to do things for myself, but then when it comes down to it, he gets upset when im doing something for myself, and im not there to talk to him... I dont get it. I told him after he was mean to me in the morning, that i didnt want to talk to him when he first gets up anymore, because its not good conversation... he just sits there and listens, and i frequiently have to ask if he's still there, and if he's listening... its pretty much a one way convorsation... and its really frustrating. then days later i ask him about stuff, and he says "didnt i tell you about that? i thought i did..." He he cant help it, he's grouchy in the morning, especially when someone wakes him up, so i retracted by saying, "so why dont you get yourself up then?!" and he responds by saying "but i like hearing from you first thing when i get up!" ugh!!! this started because i got frustrated with him because he pushes me off and has me call him back 10x so he can go back to sleep (like i said earlier) and then doesnt have time to talk... so NOW, he sits there, and listens to me talk and when I ask for his input hes rude, and then tells me that hes going to go back to sleep for a while and for me to call him back... that was his resolution to the problem... so now instead of getting totally put off, i get the worst of him... great. not to mention that ive been working really hard on the invitations and everything else for our upcoming wedding...

so then yesterdsay, i wake him up, and im in a great mood... same thing... one way convorsation! so i started to get frustrated, and told dan to call me back when he woke up,and he said that he wanted to take to me then... for the past week, hes been bringing his phone to class, and kept saying that he wanted to skype with us yesterday, but slept too late, and missed his window to skype with us,because evan had gone down for his nap... he said we would skype anywy, but didnt bring it up again... i told him over the weekend, that im sick of being the only one who brings up skyping... he says he wants to, but then i have to like remind him or something... its really annoying. plus, when we do skype, he doesnt even look at us, he goes on the internet and looks up other stuff... so whats the point?! I had told him that i told my dad i would go over his house, and regretted it, because i didnt want to go... he said "thems the brakes..." so then when he said how he didnt feel like going to school i said "thems the brakes" right back at him, and he didnt seem to like it very much... I went over my dads, and got major lectures about money, and the cost of things.... my father said that he would give us $7000 toward our wedding, and i added up the total it should cost for the hall, and we should have about $2000 left... so i asked if he would still contribute the rest on other things... he said no. he doesnt want me to get married, so he's making this as hard as he possible can for me. he offered to give us $7000 that he was going to contribute to the wedding if we didnt get married, or atleast didnt have a wedding, and we declined saying we would rather have the wedding, and that s why he says that he wont give us the rest if theres any left over... its not like we're going to put it in the bank, we're going to use it for other things like the limo or the dj or something... since dan had his phone, he texted me saying he hoped i was having fun... i told him how it was pretty much torture, and that i wished i had stayed home... because after he was done yelling and screaming at me about money and how mny servers and bartenders we're going to need for 80 people... he moved on to yelling at me because i didnt ask my loser drug adict sister to be one of my bridesmaids!!! saying that i should put my differences aside and that she's my sister, blah blah blah... im getting so freaking sick of this shit!!! i told dan that i wished we just ran away and got married! he said that itll all be worth it in the end, which i agree with him, but right now it just doesnt seem like it...

so far today has been a little better... he asked me to wake him up at noon (and its only 11:10, so i havent talked ot dan yet, but so far so good, altho evan hasnt been in the greatest mood...)

Dan has seemed very down lately... I'm a little worried about him... I know he's rally home sick,and ready to be home already, but its getting worse by the day... even his mother told me last night that he called her on mothers day and that he did nothing but give her one word answers until she said that she had to go... i know that he also hasnt been getting along with his roommate... which stinks too, but like i said its been getting worse. i wish there was something that i could do... the shad derby is this coming sat, and dan really enoys going... he has to miss it, and i think that really bothers him alt, i wonder if that has anything to do with it... I told him that i would prolly skip it.. that i wasnt sure if i wanted to go or not yet... that i was take or or leave it on the whole thing... so since i dont really feel like going anyway, i think ill just skip it this year, that way he doesnt feel so bad. I think im going to try to talk to him today about whats going on with him. hopefully i can get SOMETHING out of him...

oh well, if theres anyone out there that actually reads this blog... wish me luck... better days are sure to come! (ugh i hate being so negative :( ) 6 wks 1 day until my Airman comes home!

Some Questions about our LOVE

How did the two of you meet?
We went to school together, but were never friends in HS, we ran into eachother again on St patrick's day back in '08 and dated for about 4-5months... things didnt work out then, and we went out separate ways... got back together after I had my son at the end of March '09...

was it "love at first sight"?
I wouldnt say that, no...

whats your favorite thing about them?
I love his love for baseball! he has such a passion for it that i envy! I also love how he is with my son, and how he's good at pretty much everything he does!

whats the most annoying thing about them?
his smoking! ugh i wish he would quit... and i wish he wouldnt drink SO MUCH...

what makes you love them so much?
just everything! he's my soul mate , and my best friend. he gets me like no one else.

do you want to marry this person?
yes, our wedding date is set for aug 21 2010 <3

would you die for this person?
without a question.

could you ever cheat on them?
no.

can you see yourself with them in 10 years?
yes, absolutely! we'll be together til the day we die.

what is your best memory with this person?
the first time he held my son.

what is the worst memoryof this person?
we had a huge fight, there was a girl who wanted him to break up with me for her... he hid it from me, and i found out. it wasnt pretty. (no, he didnt cheat.)

where was your first date?
outback steakhouse. :) he picked me up, and we stopped for gas, i almost pushed the button for the hazards, and refrained... he said it was a good thing, beause the button was defective, and you have to disconnect the battery to turn them off!!! lol ...he walked me to the door at the end of the night.

how long were you together before you said the "L" word?
we didnt talk about loving eachother until our second time around... we were together for about 3months, on my birthday he took me out for a REALLY NICE dinner at this awesome place. on the way to pick up my son, he lookd over at me and said "I love you and your kid to death, you know." best birthday present ever. <3 I had loved him already though. i had fallen in love with him when we dated the first time, and kept it to myself... I still havent told him that ive loved him for that long...

Manic Monday

Hey there, what a day! I woke up early this morning for the meeting with the baby-daddy... I wasn't feeling well had a VERY sour stomach... So does Evan he's had diarrhea for the past two days... but I got up early and went anyway... aw well as woke Ev up (my gram came over and watched him while i was out). Overall, It didnt go well... aparently he is a saint for decideding after a year, and ALREADY being late on child support that he wants to be in Evan's life... that's all im going to say about it, because Im nice and relaxed now, and dont want to get upset about it all over again...

so after i got home, i brought my gram home, and relaxed with evan... again neither of us felt very good, so we both just kinda laid around all day, and snacked on "sick food"... and we both took a nap around 2.... dan called me after he was out of shower, and woke me up (which i was totally ok with, ofcourse) and while talking i woke ev up... he wasnt very happy about it... anyhow, he fell asleep on me at around 9 drinking a bottle. <3 so now, Im watching the end of the yanks game (hopefully they can come back) for my love and sending him updates... then off to bed i go as well! Im tired and still dont feel well... tomorrow, hopefully we feel better, because i have to go get address labels made, and then finish the envelopes for the invitations so i can get them out!!! My dad got mad at me today because I told him that DAN AND I finalized the menu... aparently, my father needs say in everything that has to do with this wedding because he's paying for it... I gotta say, its getting pretty old... anywho... My Love told me he got 100 on his test today, which was supposed to be the hardest block! He's SO SMART!!! 6weeks 4days and he'll be home again! <3

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there (IF there are any out there!!! lol)!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I had a completely horrible day after the fight Dan and I had the other night! I was completely misrible yesterday, and started to print my wedding invitations... ladies, if you can afford regular invitations, do your selves a favor, and DONOT get the DIY kind!!! oh my god, i had the worst headache and thought i was going to lose my mind completely! it was just the icing on the cake on my "wonderful" day...

anyway, so today I got up and felt much better than yesterday (and friday night for that matter)! I got my mother's day gift in the mail from Dan on friday, and couldnt wait until today to open it. lol he's so sweet and got me an air force wife pin and keychain. he also got a tub for me to put Evan's toys in, something Ive been looking for. it wasnt anything big, but without a car, its sorta hard for him to get around, he did the best he could with what he had (incl the funds). the cards that he had got me from him and evan were the best ever!

Today, i went to that pandora sale, and found out that they were knock off's but my sis and i got some anyway! theyre awesome! then we went to the mall and i got a super sexy teddy thing for our wedding night!!!! AHHHH!! i cant wait for it to be here!!!!!

OH, ANDDD I weighed myself this morning, and in the past week, I've lost FOUR POUNDS!!! I joined weight watchers a couple weeks back, I'm not sure if i have mentioned that... but since then, Ive lost 6lbs! right now i weigh 137, I have 12 more lbs until im my goal weight! I feel sooo good right now!!!!! I feel sorta bad, because Dan has been wanting to lose weight before our wedding too, but he hasnt had much luck... so i feel a little bad about getting SOOO excited and calling him about it today... oh well... off to bed... I have to get up early tomorrow and go to a meeting with the dreaded baby-daddy... oh btw, he blew off sending me a check this week... big surprise... im bringing it up in counseling tomorrow... ugh!!! it gets me so friggen worked upppp!!!! off to bed i go!

Really Hurt...

So it's just after 3am, and I'm still awake... my Fiance isn't so wonderful right now. Let me start at the beginning, and tell you why:

So last weekend, I had mentioned that him and I had gotten into a fight, and that I had picked it over nothing... Well that wasn't really true... I had picked it, because I was pissed off at him for putting me off to go out with his friends ALL FREAKING DAY AND NIGHT!!! It was kinda building up for a while, for the last three weeks (last week) he had all of a sudden started going out on Friday AND Saturday nights, when he was previously only going out on friday nights since he arrived at Sheppard. He was spending over $100/weekend on drinking and bingeing on fast food after drinking, when we're trying to save up as much extra as we could for our wedding!!! We have two accounts, our joint account, and his other account that his pay is deposited into. We havent changed his deposits yet, so for now I write checks from his check books to myself until we can change it (we both know its a quick thing, and there IS a reason why we havent done it yet...), so he asked me to go on his account site and check his avail bal, and we noticed a charge for something that we bought while i was there from 3/25-4/5, so I went back aways to make sure they didnt charge us twice. thats when I noticed how much he had been spending on going out! I brought it to his attention... he acknowledged it by going out and spending just as much money this past weekend!! then on saturday I was expecially lonely and missing him, and I made that clear, but he was SO EXCITED about meeting up with his buddies, that instead of being there for me, like i always am for him, he rushed me to skype, so he could hit the bar at like 2 in the afternoon to drink for the rest of the day and late into the night... then finally, when he emerged on Sunday (with an attitude as usual for the last few weeks because he's pissed off and hung over!!!!!!) he informed me that he was going to order netfix! you see, last week,s ome adware atacked his computer, and he had to pay $200 to have it fixed! and then spent $100+ in two days at the bar... the $9.00/month netfix just put me over the top!!!! I totally flipped on him! So finally when we got down to the bottom line that he doesnt take my thoughts and feelings into consideration, and he just does whatever he wants and doesnt give a shit what i think, and hanging out with his buddies is much more important to him than spending the little bit of time we have with eachother looking at eachother on a computer screen (or atleast thats how he made me feel!) He apologized, and so did i, because i didnt go about expressing it in a very adult like manor... He was pretty awesome all week, and talked wedding stuff, and even tried not to be grouchy with me in the mornings... until TODAY (he agreed that we needed to save money, and compromised that he would only go out one night a weekend to ry to save a little bit more, since i like NEVER go out, mor do i spend money on unnecessary stuff): He decided that he was going to go home after class and just hang out because the yanks were playing the sox tomorrow, and he wanted to go out to the bar to watch the game... he knew that i was up after he got out of class, so he called to say goodnight... said he was going to go have a smoke at the "smoke pit" with his buddy, go grab some sonic, have one more smoke, then jead back to his room to watch the netflix rental he got in the mail today... I kinda had a feeling something was up, because something didnt seem right. so after a little while, i came up with an excuse to call him (said i heard a scarey noise and wanted to talk to him, because i was scared...), he said that he was still at the smoke pit, then screwed up and sid that he was "coming back here" (to the smoke pit?) tomorrow night to watch the yanks, then corrected himself and said that he ment the bar... and then said "ok babe, let me go hang out with my buddies, go get some sleep, and i'll talk to you in the morn..." NOW i REALLY knew something was off... because I asked him again where he was, and said that i had gotten confused because of what he has said about where he was going to watch the game tomorrow, and he said something about everywhere is "there" if its not the dorm... but he didnt sy "there" he said "HERE"!!!! then the whole "let me go hand out with my buddies" was the aboslute DEAD give away because a. he only left with ONE BUDDY and b. because thats what he says when he wants to get off the phone to get back to drinking with his buddies at the bar! I started texting him like an hour later because I coldnt sleep because i knew that he was out at the bar, not in his bed where he said he was... he was being VERY evasive with his responses, so I CALLED HIM! he didnt pick up twice, but i got a text inbetween both calls, then he called me right back. said he was ih his dorm, and that he had gone to the bathroom and thats why he didnt pick up, as the winds is blowing away into the phone!!! he finally admitted that he was at the bar, and i told hi nthat i was hurt and disappointed that he had lied to me, and that this just proved that he didnt care at all for my feelings, and that his need to go to the bar was FAR MORE important than my feelings. he's apologized to me like a million times already, but i'm jsut so hurt... about 6wks before he left for BMT he broke my trust prety bad, and we've gotten so far since then, and for him to just break it down like that after all the progress we've made... it just really hurts. We have a thing that we dont go to bed mad at eachother, but im just SO HURT! I dont know if ill be able to sleep a wink tonight... and I had the best day too! SMH...

Very Long, But AWESOME Day!!!

Today was Bridesmaid dress shopping day!!! :) and it was SO MUCH FUN!!! Everyone was there, and they tried on like a million dresses!!! I decided on two dresses, one for my MOH:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=3001799&currentIdx=4&subCategory=-49998976%7c3001465%7c3001609%7c3001799&catentryId=6097281&sort=
and another for the rest of the bridesmaids: http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=3001799&currentIdx=1&subCategory=-49998976%257c3001465%257c3001609%257c3001799&catentryId=6097397&sort== (both dresses are in cornflower blue)! they are so pretty, and look great on all of the girls!!! II actually REALLY wanted to try on dresses too, but I refrained from it, reminding myself that I tried on my fair share of dresses a few weeks ago! lol) unfortunately, they didnt have the color that I chose in stock, so i couldnt see them in that particular color, but thats ok, just makes it all that more exciting to see them when they come in... when ever that is!! lol

NOW I'm on to flower girl dresses... I have two little nieces that are sisters that are just about a year apart (irish twins), so I can't chose just one... unfortunately, the dresses are $100.00 a piece! for little flower girl dresses!!!! the bridesmaids dresses were $140.00 for crying out loud!!! how can they charge SO MUCH for such a little dress?!??!?!! I feel bad, and I really don't know what to do... I've looked at some sites, and they all said that when they accepted to have their children in the wedding party, they accepted the fact that they have to pay for the dresses too... but I just feel so guilty... and the only dresses on the site that are under $100.00, are outlet dresses, and can only be purchased online, and all sales are final!!!

Tomorrow's Saturday, and every Saturday Evan and I go out to breakfast with my sister Rene! It's fun times! Tomorrow is ALSO the day I said I would go grocery shopping... I HATE HATE HATE grocery shopping... but now we're desperate... lol I only have enough milk for Evan's morning bottle, so we shall go to the grocery store after breakfast! that way we wont be hungry and buy unnecessary things, and we can get it done! Did I mention that I hate grocery shopping? lol

We had to cancel tanning today so we wouldnt be late for our dress appointment which kinda stunk, but it was worth it!

So, I'm really excited about Sunday too, theres a HUGE SALE on Pandora and Chamilia beads for mother's day and my sister Erica and I are going to get us some beads at 70% OFF!!!! Yee!!! :) ...until next time! ;)

Still Rockin' this Headache...

OK! So I just wrote this awesome post, and LOST the entire thing!!! GRRR!! it was SO long too! lol oh well to sum it up: I had a pretty laid back day... went tanning after Dan woke up just like he said he would to talk wedding stuff with me! we talked for over an hour about everthing i could think of! it was a great relief for me to get things off my chest! we talked about where we were going to stay for our wedding night (he kinda shot down my casino idea... said not to write it off, but its not the best idea... : /) also I wanted to get him a grooms cake, and have been looking into that without his knowledge! Its gonna be so awesome! I hope i can find someone to do what i want for him (yankee stadium complete with ball players and everything!)... we got the menu finalized. I looked at suits for the grooms men, and sent dan the links on facebook so he can look atthem too... especially since Idont know anything about suits! Also, we talked today, and decided that when he gets home at the end of june, we're going down to the town hall to get maried before our wedding day, one because i dont have insurance, and two because we would get more from BAH, and it would be useful since Dan is going to need a vehicle when he gets home and starts going to work everyday! anyway... I decided to share my beautiful ring with you (if there is any of you out there who actually follow my blog... lol):

isnt it just perfect?! needless to say, eventhough today was pretty uneventful (aside from tanning with my mother this afternoon) I got an inredible amount of stuff done today including our CUSTOM MILITARY CAKE TOPPER!!!! its SO EXCITING!!! i cant WAIT to see it!! 7weeks from today, my Airman graduates tech school and comes home! anyway, I am so exausted, so thats it for today! I'll post again tomorrow with the results of the bridesmaids dress shopping! hopefully this headache will go away...

Holy Headache!!!

I didn't post yesterday! I met with the guy from the reception hall and booked for the earlier wedding... I was leaning against that because I wanted the end of reception to be the end of the night, but no such luck... with the times available to have the ceremony, I couldnt have the later reception without having like 4-5 hours between the end of the ceremony, and the beginning of the reception... and we dont have anywhere to put all of hte out-of-town people in the mean time, so it will all work out. I took videos of the hall on my cell phone and sent them to Dan! he was excited to see them, although they were hard to see on the cell. I also went and picked up my shoes from Davids bridal! theyre SO PRETTY, it really makes me wanna put everything on together and see the finished product, but I have to wait until my first fitting next month : /. Also, when I went to the church the other day, they said that they couldnt find Dan's first communion records...

So, today I called Dan's father and found out FOR SURE when and where Dan made his first communion, since I had already asked his mother (and was informed INCORRECTLY), and I asked Dan (who forgot to inform me that he didnt make his communion when people normally do...), then i called the church and informed them that they had to change the time of the ceremony, and where to find Dan's records they needed. then i called the hair salon, and changed the time to get my hair done with all my girls for the wedding! now i have to be there at 6am... stupid butt crack of dawn... lol

oh, and I also found out last night, that it's no longer required in the state of CT to get a blood test before you can get a marraige license, which is awesomely one less thing i have to do! :)

Today, Dan kinda pissed me off: this morning I was trying to talk with him about what entrees we should have, so i can book it with the reception guy, and he can finallly tell me a price/head, and he totally blew it off! He said he had to get off the phone to go brush his teeth, and then asked me later if i had finished deciding... i told him that I hadn't because he blew me off that morning... and it was ok, that i would just picked what i picked and he could just deal with it... he tried to get mad, but then realized he was wrong, and apologized. he then promised to get up earlier tomorrow, and talk about some wedding stuff with me in the morning... so I did some research tonight after I got home from his grandparents house (Ev and I went over there for dinner, they were in Florida for the last two months, so we went over there to visit and catch up a little. his grandmother is one of the best cooks EVER!!! lol)... so I really want to stay somewhere REALLY nice on our wedding night.... like REALLY REALLY NICE... theres two casinos in CT, so i was checking them out... but I'm not too sure we can afford them... thats one of the things I'm gonna talk to Dan about it in the morning... oh yeah baby! I got a list a mile long of things I need his opinion on! lol

so I got my cousin a pandora bead as a thanks for watching Ev last week while i hashed it out with the Baby-Daddy, ad Ive been trying to get togehter with her to give it to her, but she's never around... so today i told her that i would be over to see her, and the bitch wasnt there whn i got there!!... so I just left the bag on her door handle for when she got back... I'm assuming that she still hasnt gotten home yet, because she hasnt called or txted me yet to say thanks or anthing... hmm, I wonder how long that'll take...? lol

tomorrow's gonna pretty lame... no plans, except for maybe the grocery store (yes, you got me! I still havent gone grocery shopping... guess we werent THAT desperate for food afterall.... lol) and TAnning for SURE!! then some house cleaning! I need to clean this place up a little... its starting to get pretty bad again... oh yeah, and the dreaded LAUNDRY (boooooo) hopefully it'll be nice, so i can hang it on the line... then Friday is BRIDESMAID DRESS SHOPPING!!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!! :):):)

oh, ps. I have a killer headache, hence the title... ;)

Good News, Bad News...

Ok, so I got some pretty good news today! I found out that the priest that is going to marry us has no problem marrying us even though I had a baby out of wedlock! this is great news. now heres the bad news: the earliest I can have the ceremony is 10am, and the latest is 3pm... the times that i can rent the hall are 12-5 or 7-12.... so i either have to have a morning wedding, or have the ceremony like 4hrs before the reception... I could have the ceremony at the hall, but then we'll be married by a JP instead of a priest... see my dilemma?Another good thing is that the guy from the hall called and rescheduled our appointment for today to go sign the contract... thats good because i had today to try to decide what i should do about times.

So tomorrow I go meet the guy to sign the contract, pick up my shoes from david's bridal, and return all the favor stuff i bought the other day! THEN i need to come back to town and go grocery shopping so Ev and i wont starve to death! lol

Dan and I had a talk after I posted last night and we both feel much better today. the truth is that we both just miss eachother SO MUCH. and we talked the other day AGAIN about us going ou there to visit again, and we just cant afford it, and it really sucks. We DO have the money, but we ned to save it for our wedding... we have SEVEN more weeks left and then he comes home to us <3

Not All Days Are Good Days...

So remember how yesterday I said that I was lonely? well I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and took it out on my dear love. :/ I flipped out on him over him going out ALL DAY yesterday with his buddies, and I felt like he wasn't there for me when i needed him to be when i'm always there for him when he's down and blue, but instead of telling him like a rational adult, I blew a gasket! now he's holding a grudge at me for being a bitch... which i guess i deserve, but i dont ever do that to him... especially after he apologizes... oh well what ever... I know he;ll be over it tomorrow morning. I just wish i would have gone about it a better way.

i went over my dad's today... he's not happy that Dan and I are getting married. Dont get me wrong, He thinks dan is a really great guy, but he thinks we should wait until we have more money before we "jump into things"... the only thing is, Dan's still in tech school, and after that has 365 days of on the job training... so this summer is the best time to get married being that ther isnt much of a chance that he would get deployed since he's technically still training. I know theres still a slim chance, but no where near what the chance would be come NEXT summer! Ive hear so manyhoror stories about the groom getting his orders and theyre scheduled for days before the wedding... so we're just gonna do it now while we know there wont be any issues like that! but needless to say, my father is giving me shitloads of grief about it...

not to mention that its about a MILLION DEGREES in my apartment. and do you think I owuld have looked for a fan today?! NOOOOOOOOOO.... why on earth would i do a thing like that?!?!?!?? grrr!

overall, horrible day. looking forward to tomorrow though! I meed with the priest thats going to marry us, and sign the contract for the hall! should be pretty exciting... anyway, wish me luck that tomorrow's better than today!

Lonely Day

Happy May Day! :) and what a beautiful day it was! it was easily 85+ degrees here in CT today! awesome! I planted some flower and pumpkin seeds. and hung out with Ev outside for the rest of the day, after I went to Party City to get stuff to started on making favors for the WEDDING!!! :) so I come home from the store, and my mother's all like "why didnt you get votive candles and put those mesh things over them?! WTF?! why didnt she say that yesterday?!?!?! lol so now I have to do some figuring and see if i can return the stuff i bought so i can buy the candles... If i cant return... then OH WELL the little plastic boxes with the red/white/blue m&m's I bought will just have to due! I was going to get red/white/blue ribbon to wrap around them too, but they only had white... they were all out of the rest of the colors... if i cant return the stuff, I'll have to go back tuesday to see if they got more in...

Today was a really lonely day here on the "homefront" lol Dan and I were both really missing eachother something pretty serious. HE got to go out with his friends to pass the time... but I'm stuck homebecause the little monkey's napping... hopefully he'll get up soon so we can head over my aunts for a while and see some of the fam! its not the same, but like I said, it'll pass the time... we talked about me going to visit him again for memorial day, but we cant afford the $950 its going to cost for the weekend. I really wish we could. and the closer it gets to that weekend, the more expensive it gets for the trip... I just gotta keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel! he'll be home SO SOON!!! 7 weeks is NOTHING compaired to the time we've been apart!

so, my aunts having a bonfire tonight! that should be fun! Hopefully little man will start stirring soon, so we can get up there and enjoy some of the fun! oh well, I guess we'll just have to see...

Beautiful Day

Today went by really fast. I really didn't get much accomplished... Ev and I slept in today (and then Ev took a 3hr nap this afternoon!), most likely because of the long day at the mall yesterday!

speaking of yesterday, it was my future MIL's birthday... I went and bought cards one from DF and I and one from Evan, but never got hte chance to deliver them, because of our long day at the mall, but I found out that she wasn't home anyway... so I dropped them off today before she got home from work. She never even called to thank us for them... :/

On the bright side, I finally got my engagement ring back from the jewelers!!! how exciting! :) I had to put it in to be sized, this past week felt like forever! I couldnt WAIT to get it back and wear it again!I know this is kinda silly, but I felt SO far away from my DF not having my it. and on top of that, I GOT OUR WEDDING INVITIATIONS YESTERDAY in the mail!!! I cant wait to send them out to everyone! theyre sooooo pretty! <3

I got the chance to go tanning this week too! It was SO relaxing! I love it. Tanning coupled with the fact that I joined Weight Watchers last week and already lost 2 whole lbs has me on the right track for my august wedding! :)

I went over my mothers today after tanning, and hung out there for quite a while. she is so high strung! its so exausting sometimes! I just wish she would learn how to relax a little... take life a little slower.

DF is having some computer issues again :/ hopefully we can get them fixed this weekend that way we can skype soon. he gets so frustrated when the computer goes down. we bought the stinking thing over Christmas break so we would be able to see eachother even though we're so far away from eachother, and for the most part either one of our computers have been down for more than half the time he's been gone! Tomorrow starts the beginning of May already though... and he comes home the third week of June... so SEVEN more weeks!!! I can't wait for that man to be back here with us where he belongs!! I really wish we could afford for Ev and I to go out to TX and spend the rest of his timethere together, but we can't so we just have to suck it up!

Mall Adventure

WOAH! today was awesome! My sister came over, and we headed to the mall... we have an awesome mall not far from where I live, has all the best stores in it, and its HUGE... its not one of those malls that have a movie theater in it though... purely shopping and eating at THIS mall! lol

So anyway, we got to the mall around 330-4, and I had to literally PULL her out of there at almost 10! PHEW! Evan and I are exausted! My poor little monkey never got a nap in today, but was awesome as usual! his favorite store that we went into was Voctoria's Secret! lol he was trying to grab all the panties! too cute!

I got one of those Topsy Turvy thingies at the "As Seen On TV" store! it was only $10... now all I need is a tomato plant! hopefully it actually works! I'll have to keep you posted on that... although I dont have any followers yet...

A few days ago, I had sent my wonderful Fiance a care package, and he received it today! he was SO excited <3 I had found this awesome St. Christopher metal that had the patron saint on one side, and the other side says United States Air Force :) he loved it! I'm so happy. He gets home sick sometimes, and I like to remind him that we're still here, and can't wait for him to come home!

anyway, gotta get going to bed, got another hectic day tomorrow! until then...

Longest Day of My Life

Today was quite possibly one of the worst days of my life... Perfect day to start a blog!

My son just turned one at the end of March, but hadnt seen his biological father since the beginning of last May... Well after almost an entire year, he decided to sue me for visitation (did I mention that he hasn't paid a dime of child support either?!)... Well I literally spent the ENTIRE day in court, and can you believe the bastard complained about having to pay me $100/wk for child support?!?!?!? I mean seriously, He hasn't paid for a single thing since Evan was born!!! APPARENTLY he feels as though he's entitled to visitation, but not entitled to have to help support him... ugh! Luckily, my cousin was able to watch Ev, so he didn't have to suffer through court with me! I owe her BIG TIME for this one!!!

On a FAR better note: My Fiance is at Tech School for the WORLD'S GREATEST AIR FORCE!!! I'm so very PROUD of him for everything he's doing for himself, this counrty, and for our family! He left for Air Force BMT back in October of last year, and is due to come home in about 8wks! We're in the home stretch! We're also in the middle of planning our wedding on August 21st of this year... needless to say, we're SUPER busy ALL of the time!!! but hey, I'd rather be BUSY than BORED! Like I said, This is a hectic life that we live, but I love every minute of it! Welcome to my life <3